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Thursday, September 28th, 2006
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i was going to write an hilarious paragraph in which i sarcastically sing the praises of a particular type of poster from the poster selling thing in the sub but realized that i'm not in the mood for sarcasm. has this ever happened before? i don't know but i hope it doesn't happen again......i'm still going to rag on those posters though.
so what the hell is up with those stupid posters of illustrated vampire/angel/vampire-angel girls, dressed scantily/in really tight revealing robes/in really loose revealing robes, in some provocative pose which also implies innocence or vulnerability, and with their mascara all smeared from tears? ridiculous and stupid. i barely understand huge pictures of attractive regular nearly naked people, but illustrated angels lying in a church filled with all kinds of ambiguous "technology", such as hoses or metal surfaces made up of lots of smaller strangely shaped pieces of metal, surrounding them, which is so ugly and impure that it has made them cry, thus causing their mascara to run? stupid stupid stupid. seriously stupid. do people actually buy those posters? surely they must because there were no less then 6 different ones. call me crazy but i don't understand how an illustrated girl becomes hotter when she gets fangs and blood on her face.. and chest... and all over her pure white angel wings!! whats even more bizarre is that on one of the posters it looked like the vampire had blood over her crotch. for serious! i don't think anybody could explain that one. i wish i knew someone who bought that poster. that would be the funniest thing ever. as it stands that poster is the stupidest thing ever. another point about the posters is why would an artist spend so much time on those? they're really well drawn or painted or airbrushed or whatever so i'm assuming they take lots of time to make. i just don't see how someone could come up with a sketch of a woman squeezing her breasts together with her arms and think "i'll devote the next 20 hours of my life to making this look life like!" and then once they're done say "hmm this isn't exactly what i wanted.. mabey if i gave her angel wings!....hmm still not quite there... i know fangs and dripping blood!!! perfect." actually the artists little personal dialog there did make the painting and artist both sound quite awesome. clearly the artist wouldn't do it that way cause that would result in a cool picture. they probably had the fangs and wings in the original sketch... nerds. and whats more they seem to just pump those pictures out. change the pose slightly and remove the wings and you've got a whole new picture! i think there are some thigns in life i was never meant to understand.
a similar type of poster which doesn't annoy me as much is pretty similar but not quite as bizarre. in these posters the girl (still illustrated) is dressed in an "edgy" way, has short "edgy" hair, "edgy" piercings and a thong visible above the waist of her tight "edgy" jeans but beneath her equally tight and "edgy" tank top. oh she might also be wearing retro headphones depending on the poster. similarly she might also be a vampire. but now that i think about it i don't think there were any angels. mabey i should be the first to make my tight-clothes-wearing-edgy-thong-showing-girl have angel wings. i'm such an innovator.
.....i'm feeling kind of bad after ragging on those posters so much. rather then only describing the posters that i hate i will also describe the posters that i like. this doesn't happen very often so take note. i like the posters that are really well taken photographs with interesting subjects. the subjects i think are interesting are famous or attractive cities/landmarks or really nice flowers. i also like some of the posters of famous paintings but wouldn't consider buying those because that would be a bit like...well a bit like some nerd buying a poster of a van gogh painting and being like "look at me i like van gogh!" oh i also like some of the ones featuring einstien. i was going to talk about how i didn't think the marilyn monroe ones were very cool but then i remembered this was a positive paragraph so i didn't. and finally i hate those posters that are super contrived pictures of little kids or sometimes animals dressed up like real people in contrivedly cute situations. god those are so lame.
so in other news i got my heart broken about a week ago... well not so much broken as bruised. see i had super high hopes for sharklemagne.. and then they got dashed. he seemed to have it all going for him. he was easy enough to draw to turn into a comic. he didn't have any aspect of his character which would make it difficult to place him in a multitude of situations thus making it easy to come up with entertaining stories for him to take part in.. his name was a pun! but saddly it wasn't meant to be. i was in the computer lab one day trying to kill a bit of time when i remembered that there was an internet comic that i thought was hilarious so i went to go read some of it. but it turned out (here comes the heart bruising realization) all my ideas for sharklemagne had been based very closely on this comic without me even realizeing it! whats worse is that this comic was 100x funnier then i ever would have been. truly i was very sad. my only consolation has been reading the internet comics which are super hilarious. sigh.. oh well. back to the drawing board as they say. oh the comic was dinosaur comics ( http://www.qwantz.com/ ). and i say again: it is hilarious. oh i forgot to mention sharklemagne the character is still totally viable i just have to come up with a different way of making him funny. so far i have one single killer story introducing a rad new character but i still don't know how to make it funny. its harder then i thought. heart bruise.
and just cause i haven't done it in forever i'll talk about my spelling and editing in this entry. i didn't edit out anything but i also didn't spell that many words wrong. the only exceptions being words i knew didn't exist words i spelled wrong on purpose minor typos and dialog. it turns out i've been spelling dialog wrong my entire life and only realized this today (i always put dailogue). i did use some commas which are mabey.. probably...certainly wrong but i'm incapable of editing those. my comma philosophy is to put them in only when its completely unclear where pauses should be and in those cases only exactly where i would pause when speaking that sentence aloud. while we're talking about learning new things dinosaur comics taught me that commas can be funny. i always knew colons were comedic gold but i never even considered commas. i can't use them now though cause if i did i'd be directly ripping off dinosaur comics which would be a crime. too bad for me i guess
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
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lord knows i hate a lot of stuff. like ALOT alot but some of you will be amazed to discover that as of the first day of classes university isn't one of them. who'd have thought? i would think that even an atomic powered prediction making robot whose sole purpose was to make predictions about my life based on information collected and relayed to it by 25 atomic powered information collecting and relaying robots would not have successfully predicted this outcome. on that note i'd be interested to read my horoscopes for today or this week and see if they got it right. i think its pretty safe to assume that they said something generally vague which could be interpreted as being vaguely correct in general....which was written in the stars countless eons ago at the birth of the universe. it makes me feel pretty special to think that the universe bothered to plan out my life dillions of years in advance even though to it i'll be infinitely insignificant in terms of life span and accomplishment. solid guy the universe.. solid guy.
so today obviously i was making an effort to look for people i knew while i was in transit or chillin and i thought i saw justin muay no less then 3 times. i was really embarrassed. i never actually said hi to any of them thankfully but still i was rather embarrassing even if known only to myself. it made me feel a little bit like a racist. but seriously honest to god they all had the exact same hair cut, clothes i've seen justin wear before and turned backs. let me stress again that i didn't see any of their faces...but still i felt bad.
so recently i'm into a new cartoon character now. not at all diminishing my love and respect for laser horse (who will always be the number one character in my heart and mind) i think for a month or so i'm going to focus on this new guy whom i just created on the weekend. if you want to wait for a picture to see what he's all about then don't read the next paragraph otherwise prepare to be.. fond of another cartoon character.
so this new character is called sharklemagne and he's a shark who wears a crown and carries a sceptre (to signify his royal power) and will possibly wear a kingly robe (or emperorly more to the point). i haven't yet decided if he will just be emperor of an undersea kingdom or if he'll be a shark ruling over men. right now i'm 100% sure it'll be the second because it seems like it would be much much funnier. the only problem with that idea is that it will be much harder to draw men than sea creatures. and of course if he rules men he can always have things spiced up by visiting cousins. i'm actually pretty psyched about this whole thing. if you don't understand why yet then wait until you see a picture of sharklemagne. and then if you still don't understand then may god have mercy on your soul. actually i don't know what kind of humour sharklemagne is and wouldn't judge someone too too harshly if they didn't think he'd be funny. without actual funny comics to read and make judgments on its hard to tell but i sometimes worry that sharklemagne is just "random" homour which would make me very sad since obviously that is truly the lowest form of homour (even if it is really really really really funny sometimes). but who knows what the future will hold for sharklemagne. only time or astrology will tell.
and so yet another chapter in livejournal and life draws to a close. i don't even remember what happened in the last chapter or when it was written. my last saved draft was a couple of sentences about me having watched the show america's got talent and it was going to be all about how much i hated that show and other shows like it but i dropped off (i think i can communicate the entire contents of that post by telling you that they cut one juggler then after the crowd boo-ed the judges they let the next juggler through and also that "rapping granny" got a standing ovation and was sent through to the next round. also brandy was COMPLETELY spineless as a judge... also this part: "now i'm the judge with the british accent and i'm just not sure that a woman singing star spangled banner in silly operatic fashion is a talent thats worth one million dollars" "i'm david hasselhoff and i'd just like to say although my british-accent-having counterpart rightfully voted you of the show thank you very much for your act and i think thats a song more people need to sing and hear in these troubled and disturbing times we live in"). but yeah that contest has been won already (by some child singer apparently) so that must have been like 2 months ago and even then it wasn't actually posted. more posts will probably start happening though cause i'll be at uvic a lot and here i have access to the internet. and i'll try and post a picture of you know who on something too.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
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i nearly killed english girl today... with my eyes. seriously thats how much i hate her. there was so much hatred within me that i nearly killed her just by looking at her. you might not think thats possible but believe me it is. see the hatred was so pure and intense that it became like this super super deadly poison (it happens in mythology all the time.. and to me) that was present in my eyes. normally hatred poison can't really escape the eyes cause we don't shoot beams of light out of them or anything but today the hatred was raging so strongly that it was climbing out of my eyes on the streams of photons that were bouncing off this girl. a perfect analogy would be that part in die hard 2 (die harder) when bruce willis lights a trail of airplane fuel and it chases the plane down as its taking off and just when the plane leaves the ground the fire reaches the fuel tanks and it explodes it all over everywhere. thats exactly what my hatred was doing except with photons instead of gas and english girl instead of a plane full of ex-military terrorists AND a columbian drug lord... english girl is worse. ok so what was english girl doing that was so annoying? sucking up like mad to the teacher. LIKE MAD! seriously i can't believe anybody could suck up so much. SO MUCH! everybody i knows i sucked up to my teachers to some degree but i didn't even know it was possible to go this far and be this annoying. SO ANNOYING! ok so all of these things take place in the space of one hour. ONE HOUR!
we were watching a tv adaptation of some short story about a girl not liking the way girl life was shaping up and wanting to do boy stuff. so our teacher (i refuse to call her a prof cause she's a teacher) is trying to get the vcr organized but she can't so one or two people are trying to give her tips and then stupid english girl is all like "i believe if you were to just turn the tape about so that it might face rearwardly you would find the results more to your liking"....she might not have said it exaclty like that but i don't know how to recreate her speech. what she did was take other people's suggestion of turning the video cassette around reworded it like she was talking about symbolism in a short story and then presented it as her own suggestion. then she was all proud of herself for having solved that little conundrum...she would totally refer to it as a conundrum and be totally serious about it in the smug "i know more words then you therefore i'm smarter" kind of way. she's the type of person who thinks about those word usage statistics that mr barazzuol used to give us all the time (a highschool student uses about 1000 words phds use about 10000 and shakespeare used 1000000 etc (they know how shakespeare talked day to day somehow)) and consciously tries to increase her number. i'm sure she does.
ok so then after the movie the teacher decided to read some hi-lariously outrageous pamphlet about how a good wife should have the house clean and quiet when her husband arrives home from work. i'm sure you can imagine how totally amazingly funny that pamphlet was. but english girl was laughing at each suggestion heartily and not evn attempting to restrain herself (in her defence i guess it would be pretty hard to fake having to stifle hearty laughter). she was the only one in the class actually laughing audibly. i didn't hear even one other person. some people were chuckling (i'm sure some were chuckling more at the stupidity and annoyingness of this stupid annoying girl) but nobody else was even remotely close to being as loud as her. i still can't believe how much she was laughing. oh yeah she sits in the seat that is the very closest seat to the teacher in the entire class. its like right at the front. seriosuly she was like aiming herself at the teacher so that the teacher got the full effect of the laughter......which was fake. we're all clear on that right?
later we were discussing some small detail about the short story (there was a calender on the kitchen door that foreshadowed what the story was going to be about. i didn't get why it mattered if the story was foreshadowed or not but i guess it does) and people were guessing wrong and then the teacher finally asks english girl what the answer is (that apparently she basically gave to the teacher a few moments earlier because the teacher knew she knew and said ok tell us your idea english girl (i really don't know her name otherwise i'd use it)) and english girl is like "ok wait. just a moment. the idea is percolating....ok so blah blah blah." she said actually told the teacher and class to hold on while the idea was "percolating." her closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead before giving her answer was annoying enough.. but "percolating"??!??!? god i hate her. even worse we know the idea WASN'T EVEN PERCOLATING when she said that. she'd already finished the idea and been told that it was right!! i can't stand this girl.
so nothing she's done has really topped "percolating" but later the teacher was like "i have this newspaper clipping about the ferry that sunk so put yourselves back into that short story we did about the boat sinking" and english girl closes her eyes and puts her fingers on her temples and rubs them. as it turns out the only thing that was relevent about the old short story to the article was that a boat sank. oh yeah the guy in article used writer-type language as well. GOOD THING YOU RE-ENTERED THE "HIS OWN STORY" ZONE WITH YOUR MEDITATION TECHNIQUE ENGLISH GIRL!!!
i think hatred of english girl is pretty unanimous throughout the class. at the very least anna and the kenner and the girl i sit beside all think she's annoying. i don't know how anybody could stand her. the kenner tells me that justin muay doesn't hate her and might even like her but i find that impossible to believe. he's just too polite not to go along with her is all. she does lots more things that piss me off every single day but today was just a good day to share these ones with the livejournal world. if i ever become like that girl i hope somebody tells me or kills me.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
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there is this girl in my english 125 class (poetry and short stories) that i hate sooooo much. she's so totally annoying. she sits one desk ahead and 3 desks to the left but we're still pretty close to eachother. close enough that i could touch her with a ruler. close enough so that i can hear when she talks. as if she wasn't bad enough (i'll get into why she sucks so much in a second) theres this other girl who sits right behind me that i also really really hate. they're both super annoying individually but today they sat together and with their powers combined they were...CAPTAIN ANNOYING! sooooo annoying! that powers combined thing totally induced a flashback to my childhood days. i hope you understand that i would never say "captain annoying" under other circumstances.
ok so girl number one....sorry i'm totally not interested in that story anymore. its still a good story and everything but i can't stop thinking about captain planet now. i actually saw it just recently while at somebody else's house. it was on tbs late at night. didn't i always tell you tbs was an awesome station?? i bet you didn't believe me back then.
so yeah captain planet was soooo amazingly awesome. it was like 1000000000 times cooler for me now then it was back in the day. ok first things first. the frame rate couldn't have been much more then one frame per second. it was like everybody was in a strobe light. i guess being environmentally conscious as they are the makers were trying to save on materials. that must be it. ok so the show opens with wheeler the american (fire) playing some crazy crazy 3d robot battling game against linka the russian (wind). linka beats wheeler cause she uses logic while wheeler who flies by the seat of his pants just does totally random illogical things. at this point we wonder if that will come up later in the show...so then we cut to sludgeface mcsludgeysludge driving a huge truck full of toxic sludge into yellowstone. the park ranger at the gate tries to stop him but he has a piece of paper from a computer that says he can so the ranger is powerless to stop sludgor sludgeslugesluge from dumping all his toxic sluge into the lake. as he drives past the ranger on his way into the park some sludge sloshes from somewhere and lands on the pavement and it instantly burns a hole right into the ground complete with flames. toxic waste is so evil. ok so we go back to the planeteers chillin in their house. they're contacted by gaia (the spirit of the earth. she gave them the rings in the first place) and she tells them about whats going on. wheeler and linka fly off in a hoverjet to go to the headquarters of some environment agency or something where the master computer is while the rest of the planeteers just sit around. now we enter the badguy's evil lair. it turns out sludgey slugerson is actually working for evilfemaledoctor smog. she explains that she's built this big computer and its controling the environment headquarter's main computer. then just to show how much she loves polution sludge man says something like
"gee smogella *cough* it sure is *cough* smoggy *cough* in here. you must *cough**wheeze* love your smog *coughcough*"
"yes i do because i'm evil. this smog is a hybrid of enriched cigarette smoke and distilled car exhaust. look at the white streak in the hair that covers my eye and some mysterious scar. im evil."
"yeah you sure are *cough* and so is smog.. and sluge!"
"totally thats why i like polution... cause they're eveil and so am i!"
ok so wheeler and linka park their hoverjet in the park (get it? the PARK. that was wheeler's) then they walk up to the steps. they ask a man if they can go inside and look at the computer to which he replies with something like "absolutely not! now let me go ack to eating my lunch from this brown paper bag." so then wheeler and linka decide they have to sneak in. but how to do it? there is one man who would recognize them and get somebody to stop them and he's sitting on some huge vast wide steps which people are constantly walking up and down and he's focused entirely on eating his lunch. the only thing to do is for wheeler to light his paper lunchbag on fire causing him to throw it on the ground and stamp on it drawing the attention of some policeman who wouldn't have been able to recognize wheeler and linka since he's never talked to them before or recieved their description. wheeler and linka take advantage of this completely unecessary diversion and enter the building and proceed to walk straight into the computer room. once inside the second they touch the computer an alarm goes off and that guy from before runs in. they convince him to check to see if all the national parks have been converted to toxic waste dumping sites but smogella notices this and quickly changes everything back and also the polluter records of the planeteers so they're recorded as being super polluters! arrest them! linka uses her power of wind to create a whirlwind of dot matrix printer paper and wrap up all the police and people who wish to capture them. amazingly wheeler doesn't melt the handcuffs with fire because that would be in keeping with many of the other ridiculous things that have happened. they must now escape the building! they run to a stairwell and linka uses the power of wind to create a tornado that lifts them and then drops them safely on the floor of her choosing. this ability is totally amazing since the amount of subtle control over the wind needed to lift them and place them somewhere else safely would be immense. but oh no! there are more guards guarding the exit and there hapens to be a waste paper basket next to them! wheeler prioritizes the sanctity of the national parks over possibly recycling the paper in the bin and lights the paper on fire. immediately a pillar of smoke drives straight into the sprinkler system and ignores the fact that heat is what actually sets sprinkler systems off in real life! the sprinkler system goes off! the guards are distracted long enough for wheeler and linka to escape. just as they exit the building though a towtruck towing their hover jet drives past. aw man! the other planeteers come looking for wheeler and linka and find them outside the towing company's lot which may have been adjacent to the building wheeler and linka just escaped from. but oh shit a guard is coming with a police dog! he spots the planeteers and shines his flashlight on them. they freeze. unfortunately the man doesn't have enough backup to take the kids down so he leaves the dog (which has had many closeup snarling shots so that we know he's angry and will be soothed by the power of heart in a second) to guard them. fortunately the south american boy with extremely specific power of soothing the hearts of angry animals is there to sooth the heart of the angry dog. after having his heart soothed the now happily panting dog tells them about a secret passage into the building. wheeler and linka go into the computer room to stop smogella's computer while the rest of the planeteers go to stop sludge-o and his convoy of about a thousand trucks from dumping their toxic waste (which has probably been shown lighting something else on fire by this point) into yellow-stone. the lunch man from before is doing something in the computer room but he knows the planeteers are for real this time cause he went back to check the computer later and for some reason that time smogella's super computer didn't notice and change stuff back like it did before so it was found out. they try to change the national parks back into national parks and not toxic waste dumping zones but the badass computer (who now talks to smogella and appears to have some sort of relationship with her) is stopping them. linka comes up with the scheme to have wheeler do such illogical things that the enemy computer will explode. somehow this works. also even though wheeler put the commands so illogical that they could blow up a computer into the environment's computer that one doesn't blow up. while the computer is being destroyed it thinks there is a fire somewhere and dumps water all over smogella. she gets wet and annoyed. take that polluter! but shoot the convoy is still going to mess up yellowstone. the 3 planeteers in the helicopter catch up to the convoy which is driving on a road right next to a treacherous drop down the cliff on one side and a cliff wall on the other side. the trucks are driving next to a cliff wall so we know that earth guy from africa will use his earth power to make a rock slide but since water girl from asia hasn't done anything yet she tries to stop the convoy with a large puddle. it doesn't work! earth guy makes a rock slide on the road and the trucks can't get by. also one of the trucks flips over and there is a tear in tank. toxic waste will leak everywhere! also one of the trucks drove off the edge of the cliff. they need to call on captain planet! earth! fire! wiiind! water! heart! gooooo planet! captain planet arrives! he flies down and catches the truck effortlessly bringing it back to safety! he lands and effortlessly fixes the tear in the side of the truck by shooting a beam of energy that welds the metal without leaving a seam! he has totally rad green hair and blue skin! go nature! sludgeguy is running away and he gets toxic waste on him somewhere (probably down his pants) somehow but he is not instantly lit on fire and in fact only embarrassed and stopped from committing this one crime this one time. since nature doesn't have a problem with letting its baby ducklings get killed and consumed by predators it is unclear why it can't just let captain planet kill polluters to stop them forever.. but it doesn't. anyway the badguys get away a national park is saved wheeler and linka make some joke probably about computers and everybody laughs. the end.
such a wicked tv show. what ever happened to awesome tv like this?
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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man i hate school. and more then hating school i hate myself for making school more difficult then it has to be....ok thats obviously not true. how could i or anyone else hate me? and especially more then school. but seriously i am pretty annoyed with myself. its ridiculous how much time i waste on a daily basis. last night when i was all gung ho about getting work done (before coming to a realization that my plans for that night were in fact totally useless) i thought that i'd be able to get everything that needs to be done done for monday but now with a clear morning mind i realize that i'll still be able to do it (providing i don't screw around too much with things like livejournal) but it'll take several boat loads of effort. sigh. i'm going to be working writing and walking non-stop this weekend. sigh!....SIGH! no i'm just kidding. secretly i love huge sleepless work marathons.
and if things weren't bad enough on top of this school/time constraints business my bank card ran away! i haven't quite written it off yet but i think i'm going to have to accept that its gone so that i can move on and get a new one today. i'm reluctnat to do that though because the day before the last day the bank card was accounted for i lost my student card but then 2 days later (the very same afternoon that i bought a replacement) it just appeared sitting neatly on top of some laundry on the floor. terribly mysterious and inconvenient and frustrating. i actually suspect my mom of picking up my stuff from wherever i left it (near a couch or the dining room table) putting it in a "safe place" (that is to say hiding it) and then lecturing me about losing it and not taking care of my stuff (i suppose i just don't expect my money to be stolen when i leave it on the stool in my own front room in the company of my family.. mabey its a little silly but i have faith in the goodness of humanity) because as far as i can tell thats the only possible explanation. and just to add insult to injury when my bank card took off it took a twenty dollar bill with it. mabey they eloped. i guess i wouldn't mind so much then cause that'd be sorta romantic.. but yeah probably today i'll have to get me a new card otherwise i'll have to watch the movies i already own while avoiding work instead of buying new ones! only joking. i own plenty of movies i haven't watched yet....still kidding. i only own a few. and while that last thing was true i'm still only foolin' cause i won't be watching movies instead of working.
i read the martlet yesterday and yet again the comics failed to be enjoyable. comedy sallad is routinely funny but it wasn't in that issue. i was thinking about trying to get laser horse in there but what if people just assumed that he sucked ass because he was in the martlet? i think that'd be a fair assumption if you didn't know anything about him. mabey being in the martlet would actually make him less cool....ok that was just ridiculous. but seriously the martlet? laser horse is better then that.
my hand is looking extra weird today. theres like no point where my arm ends and where my hand begins. it looks like my hands are starting to get fatter or something but i know that isn't happening.....ew gross! i think i just realized what the change is. forearm hair is growing out of the back of my hand. sick. fortunately my forearm hair is like that of a girl...with fair forearm hair but i definitely don't like the direction this is pointing to. mabey if i dipped my hands in a vat of boiling oil they would be entirely covered by scar tissue and thus never grow hair. any reduction in sensation would be a small price to pay. they'd be super smooth and pale too. mabey even discoloured. some of my scars even change colour depending on the temperature. this is sounding better and better. i should definitely look into this.
the last couple of days i've been looking for distractions and one of the ones i found was wandering about the elliot building. i don't go down towards the offices or anything so there isn't all that much to see but i did find a room in the basement with a big sticker warning you of radioactive materials inside. theres another sign on it prohibiting janitorial staff from entering without express written permission. do they really think that janitors are stupid enough to wander into the radiation filled room just cause there isn't a sign telling them not to? i think more then janitors needing permission before they're allowed in janitor's need express orders before they'd enter. at least if they're as smart as i'm giving them credit for. actually chances are it wouldn't even be all that dangerous through that door. its not like they'd just leave some super duper radioactive stuff in a pile on the floor. but still not somewhere that i'd like to feel obligated to clean.
ooh i saw something pretty crazy today. i was walking past the fountain and there was this mallard duck like swimming in circles and eating something in the water. the next time i looked back there was a girl duck that i hadn't seen before and the boy duck wasn't eating anything anymore. then the next time i looked back the boy duck was swimming in circles again eating something in the water and the girl duck was gone again. the last time i looked back the boy duck was swimming around in circles and thrashing about whlie riding on the back of and pecking the head of the girl duck which seemed as though it were struggling to stay above water. finally after all those observations i realized the thrashing was a humping motion and that the ducks were totally doing it. not every day you see something like that.
oh yeah i guess its saint patrick's day today. i didn't wear green but neither did any of the people that i can see right now. in retrospect there were many green articles of clothing between my house and this computer though. i only remembered that it was st patrick's day cause i know that its on the same day as justine's birthday(!!). happy birthday justine! again! also just so everybody knows not to do this i hate.. hate hate hate when people tell me i'm irish and that i should enjoy/get into the spirit of st patrick's day. if you were thinking of saying something along those lines here's a preemptive SHUT YOUR FACE. i'm sorry if that was a little harsh. i'm sure you didn't deserve it but a few people do and the few ruin it for the many.. also i really really hate it. back to the lighter side of st patricks day my mom didn't make her cake just as she didn't the previous 2 years. an unfortunate yet not unexpected trend. it probably has something to do with my brother not being around to whine about it anymore. the cake always did sort of put me off with it being green under the green icing and all but at the same time that part was fun and the cake tasted good. all in all i miss the cake.
i saw the world's second cutest bunny the other day. at this point in time the baby bunnies are starting to appear around campus. now all baby bunnies are really cute but the one i saw was brown (well golden marshmallow coloured) just like the world's cutest bunny and super cute. the only two ways i can imagine that bunny being any cuter is if it were wet or if it were munching on an oversized leaf (as i've seen others do).... or if it were a puppy but thats just a given.
anyways enough of this journal business. its time to get down to the very important and stupid sociology assignment.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
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so what have i done recently thats post worthy? well i saw brokeback mountain. i'm sure you're dying to hear what i think about it. basically i learned just one thing: women suck. women either wear too much makeup and are only concerned about financial matters and petty material things or they make babies.. babies who cry.. AT ALL TIMES. seriously if you are a man and feel obligated to be with a woman to keep up appearances then hope to high heaven that you end up with the makeup/material type instead of the crying baby producing type because holy crap those babies are annoying. seriously the crying never ends. oh i forgot theres also the type of woman who talks all the time but doesn't have anything important to say. god women are so superficial and shallow. ok so mabey i learned 2 things cause i discovered that men on the other hand are perfect. they don't feel the need to fill the void in a conversation.. only the void in their ass. they're comfortable in silence and only speak when they have something deep and meaningful to say. they're stoic on the outside but on the inside they burn with passion and emotion. unfortunately women will never be able to tap into that inner core of passionate emotion because they're too concerned with how their nails look or who's going to look after the crying babies. god women are so shallow and superficial. truly the only people who can really understand men on a deeper level are men. women can't understand cause all they understand is whether or not their hair looks good.
no i'm just kidding... well i'm half kidding. they really did have a lot of scenes where women were annoying/shallow. the best one was where donnie darko was with his wife and he met some other cowboy who had a wife that just wouldn't stop talking. it was comical.
wife: "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
cowboy: ".......sigh"
wife "excuse me. i'll leave you and donnie darko alone for a second while i presumably reapply my makeup or do some other such superficial activity"
donnie darko: "........ever notice how women wear makeup all the time?"
cowboy: ".........yeah........i never can get a word in edgewise with my wife darlene......."
donnie darko: ".............yep........women. hunh"
cowboy: "..........i have a cabin where we can have sex"
thinking back i thought my very favourite part of the movie was when donnie darko was feeling down in a bar and went and tried to put the moves on a cowboy and got turned down. it was seriously really cool i thought. overall though i wouldn't say that the movie was really anything special. i'm sure it'll win a bzillion awards cause its about two dudes who "ain't gay or nuthin'" (which means that they really are) and have violent (read: manly) sex on screen. i did think that heath ledger was convincing as a broken down cowboy living a shitty shitty life but i don't think that necessarily equates to best picture or even best actor. on the other hand mabey all the competition is stuff like domino (i've heard it blows chunks... but surely that can't be entirely true). anyways i don't really recommend seeing brokeback mountain. well i guess i kinda do cause it seems like its going to be one of those movies that you can be like "i saw that in theaters" for. if you do go see it prepare to be brought down a few notches on the scale of happiness. it was a real downer for me.
hmmm what else have i done thats fun. oh! i totally bought top gun! holy guacamole talk about an awesome movie. somebody was telling me just a little while ago that they hadn't seen top gun before and i almost punched them in the face. if you haven't seen top gun you must watch it immediately. seriously top gun is a great great great movie. i can't believe how awesome it is. also of note is how friggin awesome that song the danger zone is. thats like the theme song of my life now. even right now i'm pushin it into overdrive. if only i was in the navy i would become a fighter pilot and then i would go to the top gun school. i can't decide what my call sign would be but it'd definitely be friggin' awesome.
also worthy of note is the fact that i bought hercules the legendary journeys season 4 and 5 and i'm close to having season 2 (its on order in a&b sound and taking forever). damn hercules is so cool. the only thing that almost comes close to possibly bringing it down a tiny tiny bit for me is the fact that in real life kevin sorbo is a bit of a loser. in the commentary tracks he says stupid things like "wow she has a hot body. i can say things like that cause i'm a flaming heterosexual." like seriously who says something like that? a dork thats who. but that doesn't even really matter because on screen kevin sorbo is the man. THE MAN. seriously hercules is too cool for this planet. he looks rad, he's got the coolest pants i've ever seen or heard of, he always has a positive message to send out, he can backhand you into next year (and its only february!) the list just goes on and on. and let it be known that he doens't just fight bandits and warlords all the time. i can see how some people could think that thats all he does if they didn't really watch the show in the past but seriously he is not limited to such things. he does it all. the last episode that i watched from season 4 was called "...and fancy free" and in it hercules entered a dance competition to help a nerdy girl realize her dreams of winning that dance competition and thus cause her to gain confidence in herself. sounds pretty amazingly awesome right? (if it doesn't we're not friends anymore) but then get this! iolaus dressed as an old woman was their dance teacher! and he was even making some hilarious innuendo with hercules and his big muscles. it was seriously a classic classic episode. for the big finale the nerd girl ran and jumped into hercules' arms and he proceeded to lift her above his head with just one arm and then after an awesome closeup of him looking sexy and showing how effortless it was he started spinning her around (still with one arm) and then threw her up like 30 feet in the air (in slow motion) before catching her again! oh yeah also the corrupt magistrate who is in charge of the dance competition wanted his niece to win so he tried to get his goons to attack hercules and nerd girl during their dance and needless to say there was a wicked dance fight where hercules swings nerd girl around such that her feet hit all the goons in the face etc. brilliant! i seriously think that even i could not come up with a better episode then that. oh yeah for the whole dance sequence hercules was wearing a wicked matador outfit. holy crap that show is so awesome.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, February 20th, 2006
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ok seriously i was just going to let it fade away (for the most part) but this is just too funny not to bring it up again. sorry julian. this link http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=spot_the_pedo leads to the best page in the universe's latest post/article. a picture of "the wink" (which julian so generously gave me the last time i saw him. (thanks for that by the way)) could easily have been included in there. true its not exactly a "pedosmile" but i think its even more damning... sigh good times. also remember that poster? classic.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 29th, 2006
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when conor osullivan got his first job at a gas station "welcome aboard son" he thought things were looking up *attractive female pumps gas seductively* but in this quiet town things are not always what they seem "whats wrong with those pumps over there?" there are some doors that were never meant to be opened *a short series of cuts getting successively closer to being able to see inside a spooky door slightly ajar on a grey windy day* there are some secrets that were never meant to be revealed. "what are you doing" and this january *spooky silhouette revealed by lightning flash* once you know them "oh my god" you can never turn back.... aaieee!!!
you might think that a movie with such a preview would be purely fictional. but you'd be wrong.. dead wrong. i have both a door that i should never have opened and just recently i learned of something that should never have been learned.. of. my door is the bathroom door because it is far too tempting to go just for the trip and the change in scenery (its fun to leave the counter for the variety and then its fun to come back to the counter for the sanitation). the two times i have gone to the bathroom cars have pulled in and honked despite the sign on the door which promises my return in less than a minute.. obviously i never should have opened the door to the bathroom. the secret i've revealed is far more sinister though. definitely the knowledge i have learned was never meant to be known. it turns out that 1 litre of chocolate milk 1 cadbury cream egg (or any variation thereof) and 1 nestle chocolate bar comes to 5 dollars.. even! *!lightning and thunder!* i don't know if the implications are immediately known to those not in the gas station industry but that knowledge is seriously damaging to my financial situation. i'll explain. i have boat loads of free time while on duty and that coupled with the fact that i know i'm going to make 60 dollars over the course of that day anyways results in an irresistible purchase. i really seriously wish i had never found that out. i've done that 3 days in a row.. twice today actually and in retrospect i can think of thousands of better ways to spend 20 dollars. millions even. anyways most of the other quotes and shots happen in real life too. everything other than the "welcome aboard" and the *attractive female pumps gas seductively* as happened at one time or another (or a thousand times). the reason i didn't get a welcome aboard is cause they were woefully understaffed and i had the job before i even talked to the manager so instead i got a "when did you say you could start?". as for the *attractive female pumps gas seductively* once in a while i see someone and think "oh that female's car, posture, and clothing indicate that she might not be a total hag" but it always ends the same.. actually thats not true cause sometimes they turn out to be crones. seriously i don't know if there is a single woman under the age of 50 who doesn't have at least 10 scabs on their face and hands and less shaky hands then cara living within a 10 000 block radius from the gas station. ok mabey only 10 block radius but thats still pretty far. also cara's hands aren't gross when they shake and not only cause its so funny. however, if cara grew out her fingernails, didn't wash her hands for a year, got between 2 and 7 scabs on each hand, then dumped out her dirty change purse onto the glass counter and counted out exactly $7.27 for the cheapest brand of cigarettes available (with no more then 6 of the dollars being in coins larger then a quarter) then her hands would disgust me too.
sigh if only that movie were actually made... i'd get brad pit to play me.
oh yeah also that scream part isn't true. i never ever scream like that. those of you who know me (and even those of you who know my super secret ultimate flinching weakness) should know this is truth.
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Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
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ah livejournal. old faithful livejournal. trusted friend. valued companion. how long it has been since i last posted in you i know not but this much i do know: its probably been a while. i feel slightly bad for neglecting you so but not really. sadly things just weren't really exciting enough to warrant a post. but that all changes today! prepare yourself for exciting stories about things and stories about exciting things and exciting stories about exciting things!
i recently bought some groceries from save-on. the groceries included but were not limited to baby carrots, italian bread, swiss cheese, red grapes, green grapes, mini-croissants and roast beef. the red grapes were very tasty. delicious even. but the green grapes were too sour and thick-skinned. quite a let down after the near perfection of the red grapes. i was very proud of myself for my international food purchases. four countries in $30 isn't too shabby i think. as you can see i'm always trying to find interesting cultural experiences to enjoy in any set of circumstances i find myself in. i guess thats just a personality thing. some people are always looking to try new things and experience as much of the world as they can while others are more inclined to stay within their safety zone of north american culture no matter the price they pay in terms of personal growth and general social awareness.. not saying that either one is better then the other or anything just putting that out there (i'm just kidding Amy. i don't really think you're the second one) and if you're wondering how i spent so much money on so little groceries it was due to some horrendous mental math on my part which caused me to buy just upwards of 7 dollars worth of roast beef and probably 12 dollars worth of grapes. oops.
now i know that last story was pretty thrilling but if you think that can't be topped well then i guess you just haven't been around me very much. i probably have something more exciting then that happen to me literally once or twice in a two week period. example: just yesterday my brother stopped by my house on his way home from work to make some dessert-type treat presumably for a work related thing and he had with him a. new. flavour. of sunchips. i was astounded. hardly believe my eyes i could. i don't know exactly how new it is because i don't really buy and eat chips as much as i used to but it was new to me and thus very very exciting. garden salsa was the name of the flavour. it was pretty good if you like sunchips (which i do). all the flavours taste pretty similar and this was no exception but it was still kinda fun. they have a tomato-ish flavour to them with just a bit of spice only really noticeable when you eat like 10-15 chips without any pauses. its there on a single chip if you're looking for it though. it reminds me of a milder version of the tostidos tomato and sour cream chips.. but i may be way off base on that cause its been a while since i've had those too (i don't even know if i got thier name right which definitely says something about the last time i ate them). so yeah i'd say that on the scale of sunchips garden salsa falls bellow french onion and harvest cheddar but obviously its still above original.
and if you think that theres no way i'll be able to top an exciting event such as that you're right. but i mean seriously how can you top a new flavour of chips? i'd have to win the lottery or something and even then its still a pretty close call. however that being said excitement is by no means going to vanish from this post. a different thing i did recently which i'm quite proud of is that i managed to find and successfully use my own reaching broom. i now keep a wooden pole next to my computer which i can use to reach over and either flip the light switch or close my door from my computer chair. you wouldn't think that that woud really be such a time/effort saver but it really is. i mean at the very least it'll add another 4 years to my perfect vision since i no longer have to stare at my computer monitor for extended periods of time in the dark due to my sheer laziness. so thats never a bad thing. and its also good news for my mom cause now i won't wake her up as much since i can close my door (while remaining seated) if i start doing anything other than sitting motionless in utter darkness any time before 11:30. whoo!
in other exciting news i have come up with the answer to the most important question ever asked by men: what is the key to wealth beyond your wildest dreams and the absolute power that follows closely behind? the answer my friends is triangles. the future is made of triangles. literally made of triangles. now i'm not talking about the near future (2050) nor am i talking about the distant near future (2234). i'm not even talking about the near distant future (2439)! i'm talking about the distant distant future (2672). now everyone can agree that squares are quickly becoming obsolete and that circles and organic shapes are really going to dominate the near future but you would be making a grave mistake to count all the polygons out. obviously nobody expects the octagon to get any farther than it has but thats because it made a fatal mistake: it tried to be two things at once. on the one hand it was having all its sides and enjoying the benefits that a polygon gets but it also had so many sides that made it almost like a circle. best of both worlds? hardly. in this case its just as my one-time co-worker said: if you put half your load in two boats both will sink. but the triangle didn't make that mistake. just like the circle the triangle is on an extreme end of the number of sides scale but that is where the similarities end. where the circle is bloated and unruly the triangle is sleek and compact. theres no excess in a triangle. triangles are more versatile in that they can form any shape they want by working together with other triangles. even circles can be made by having many triangles all rotated slightly. circles on the other hand can only form pathetic imitations of the other shapes by using a large number of impractically small circles which greatly limits their usefulness. finally and most importantly triangles just look more high-tech/badass. in the distant distant future we will be extremely concerned about having the appearance of our devices reflect the huge degree of technical complexity/awesomeness and really triangles are the only way to do that. granted circles can look pretty cool in a few very specific situations under strict circumstances but triangles on the other hand look cool at all times whether they be alone or part of huge multitude of other triangles. to illustrate my point imagine a wicked battle robot made exclusively out of circles... yeah i didn't think so. fact: it is impossible to imagine a wicked battle robot made exclusively out of circles!! i don't think i need to take this any further. so my advice to you is either go about trying to speed the adoption of triangles as our chief shape of design or invest heavily in them and just let technology run its course...and live for six or seven more centuries so you can cash in big time when the rest of the world (or mabey world-S plural by that time) realizes what you've known all along.
man that last paragraph contained such brilliance. somehow this livejournal is going to be preserved until the distant distant future and then when the people of the future realize how damn smart i was even back in these primitive times they're going to use their super triangle technology to bring me back to life and grant me my heart's one true wish. and who knows if you play your cards right mabey that will involve your resurrection... now i'm not suggesting that you have to buy such a place in my heart by any means but remembering this around christmas certainly wouldn't hurt if you catch my drift.
anyways i'm off to vacuum the house then clean the bathroom. yeah you jealous.
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Thursday, December 29th, 2005
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i've been slowly cleaning my room over the course of this the twenty-ninth day of december in the year two thousand five and i happened upon some certain props which reminded me of possibly the funniest thing to ever happen ever. i know since i was involved i should be a little more modest or humble or something but seriously could you be? i think not. i mean we got una to read out the first few lines of the houses are built poem out in front of the whole class during our presentation of whatever act that was in macbeth (act III scene i? the witches/spell one). during the presentation! like while being marked and graded!! ok mabey that wasn't the funniest thing to ever happen ever or even the funniest thing to ever happen regarding una but nobody can deny that it was absolutely brilliant.. and funnier than anything they've ever done or could ever do in the future.. even if they lived for a thousand lifetimes and devoted themselves entirely to the task of doing something funnier.. and were bestowed with eternal vigor needing neither sleep nor sustenance. and i think its worth mentioning that "et tu witch numero trois?" was a totally classic line/development too.
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Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
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this was one of the suggested uses for myspace. even i couldn't have come up with a better one. if i didn't already have a myspace i'd start one solely because of how awesome this is.
"Share. Proud moments such as winning a hot dog eating contest is something you may want to share with the entire world and not just people you know!"
thats just too cool
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Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
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guess what i'm holding in my left hand as i'm typing this with my right. i bet you can't. well i'll tell you.... its a dilly bar!! thats right i'm eating a dilly bar at this very moment. Every time i type "dilly bar" i actually have some dilly bar in my mouth and for that reason you are jealous. god i love dilly bars.
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Monday, November 14th, 2005
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oh boy you're all in for a speacial treat today!! well mabey its not really a speaical treat for anybody other than me.. hopefully you'll be able to get a little bit of enjoyment out of it though. i'm posting for you my very favourite poem in forever: Alfred, Lord Tennyson's (or Tenny as i like to call him) coolest poem The Lady of Shalott. i noticed the redundancy in that last sentence. obviously since this is the coolest poem of all time it would have to be tenny's coolest poem as well. seriously though i love this poem more than some of my uncles. you'll be missing out big time if you don't read the whole thing.
*edit* all of the Shalott Camelot Lancelot lines are supposed to be indented so that they pretty much line up with the rest of the lines. livejournal seems to be refusing to let me do that for some reason (ours is not to reason why...i am the king of literature). anyway i know that doesn't really change anything about the poem but it bothers me that i can't do it like tenny wanted. i'm sure he'd understand though.
( check check it. my first lj cut!!!! )
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Thursday, October 13th, 2005
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anybody reading this on thursday october 13 2005 go play "city jumper" ( http://www.addictinggames.com/cityjumper.html ) and then see if you can see my name. if you're having trouble heres a hint...check on the daily highscores list...in the 67th position!!!! whoooo!! i rock.. so hard.
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Friday, September 30th, 2005
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nothing of the livejournal sort has really been happening to me lately. so i'll just post some stuff that i thought was funny.
during one of the chem lectures we were talking about making ions by gaining or losing electrons to complete orbitals (i think we learned it in chem 11. the s and p orbitals and stuff). we said that such and such an element was inclined to make such and such an ion and then our professor (mr briggs. he sounds like ben stien. he could do the most amazing impression if he tried) was like iron tends to lose these electrons and make the 2+ ion. then like 3 minutes of him talking about filling orbitals and shells and stuff some girl near the front was like "so iron would fill its orbital to make an iron 4- ion?" yeah thats what iron would do. iron makes negative ions every day. it doesn't sound as stupid or funny now as it did back then but at the time i was laughing to myself and thinking about how stupid she was. i know chem 101 isn't like master level course or anything but i would think if you're taking any form of chemistry in university that you would know that metals don't make negative ions! i realize thats like the nerdiest sentence ever (especially if you're reading it how i was saying it to myself) but seriously did she not go to science 8-10 or chem 11 and 12 or probably even bio 12? anyway i was amused at the time probably due in no small part to how bored i was.
another wicked chem lecture story! we were learning about ionization energy and stuff and then after going over the table of ionization energies of the various elements with us our professor started on the electron affinity one and then like 5 minutes into the explanation some girl (who looked like tara saracuse or whatever. all business like with thick framed glasses) asked some vague question about the table and the values. she got a good answer considering how crappy her question was but then when she was asked if that cleared things up she was like "not really. i guess what it comes down to is where do these numbers come from?". the professor started to re-explain the idea behind the table but then she interrupted him to say "i guess what it comes down to is where do these numbers come from. like where do they get them?" the professor graciously explains the complicated experiment, unsurprisingly it means nothing to anybody including the girl so she says "so basically what it comes down to is that we have to take these numbers on faith". OF COURSE YOU DO STUPID! we're in first friggin year chemistry you moron!! are you going to do the experiment yourself for all the elements?! even our prof has to take those numbers on faith you dolt! so stupid
yet another chemistry related story but this time its not somebody else being stupid. i'm not really being stupid either as the previous sentence might imply. well i sort of am but i think its the kind of stupid that makes me look cool. i was in my chem lab and i just finished donning my gear (lab coat with pens pencils and a calculator in the breast pocket) and realised that my one wooden pencil hadn't been sharpened yet. i figured that a chemistry laboratory would have a quality pencil sharpener (i was mistaken). i located it after the prelab quiz had started but before i had written any answers down. i went and started sharpening my pencil and the following exchange took place.
mr wedd: i hear somebody is sharpening their pencil
me (while examining the point after the third attempt): yes well i like my pencils to be sharp like my observations
mr wedd: everything has to be done in pen. it says so on your quiz.
me: ah.....
well it looks like it turned out that these tree stories were actually totally livejournal material. mabey not so much the third one as it focuses in on me but the other two are definitely typical livejournal stuff. anyways i guess thats it for right now. i'm sure you all can look forward to more stories having to do with chemistry, university or taking chemistry in university seeing as how i'm going to university and taking chemistry.
p.s. i'm taking chemistry at university
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Sunday, September 11th, 2005
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My eyes burn exactly like the sun;
Coral is far less red than my eyes' red;
If snow be white, why then my eyes are red;
If blood vessels be wires, red wires grow in my eyes.
I have seen roses demask'd, red and white,
And such roses see i in my eyes.
And in some perfumes there is more delight
Than in the pain i feel in my eyes.
what you just read was the octave of a sonnet i'm working on about how my eyes were burning last night. notice the complex rhyme scheme i've used here (a, b, b, c, d, c, d, c for those of you who are too lazy to check). its a new rhyme scheme that i've come up with for this sonnet and its going to be my trademark. i've yet to name it but i was thinking conorian sonnet (pronounced con-air-ian) or o'sullivanian sonnet would both be suitable but i can't decide which one is better. i realize that o'sullivanian would be in keeping with tradition but since my poetry isn't about following convention (example: rhyming red with red in lines 2 and 3) i was leaning more towards the conorian sonnet. but i guess i really ought to worry about finishing the sonnet before i decide what the style should be named. i was working on a different sonnet also inspired by the burning sensation in my eyes titled Batter My Eyes, Three Colour'd Monitor but it wasn't as forthcoming as My Eyes Burn Exactly Like The Sun. i doubt i'll ever finish either though since the inspiration has left me. too bad.
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Thursday, September 8th, 2005
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its crazy how one's outlook can change so drastically in such a short time. i fully realize that such a sentence in anybody else's livejournal would make me super annoyed. annoyed enough even to actually say something out loud so long as nobody was around to hear it. but as far as i know this is the first time i've pulled one of these so i don't have much compunction about doing it. now having done it i can totally understand why people do them as much as they do. i mean just read it. it could have to do with one specific person or event or it could have to do with everything in general. its so vague that there's no way for anybody else to tell what its actually about but gives enough detail for a reader to be able to read it as pertaining to something related to them or that they're aware of. i have the satisfaction of "voicing" my feelings yet the comfort afforded by knowing that nobody who reads this can actually know for certain what i'm talking about. even more than that i can imagine that people who read it puzzle over the exact meaning and imagine that its about them. its like the perfect sentence. especially for me who loves reading and writing stuff into stuff. but still i maintain that that sort of thing is just plain lame.
in other news i've been admitted into the exclusive return to innocence fan club. whats that you ask? well its a club for those who are fans of the song return to innocence by enigma.. and i'm one of those. i became a member over a month ago but i'm just writing about it now....and thats all there is to say about that.
i just recently discovered that steven seagal's name is actually spelled s e a gal instead of s e gal. my mistake i guess.
i still need to get my uvic student card thing. i still haven't been in to get the picture taken which is turning out to have been a really unwise descision. by the time i've gotten around to getting it i'll have spent a minimum of $10 o riding the bus that i could have avoided had i had my shit together.
i saw L4YER CAKE. it was just like lock stock and two smoking barrels. i would warn people about a spoiler if i thought people read this and that those people were stupid enough to not expect a retarded final twist in a movie like this. its friggin stupid when the main dude dies. it didn't even really make sense as far as i could tell. he alternates between two deciding to get out of the drug business and staying in like 8 timmes in the space of 5 minutes. it was prety good i guess. everyone was british which was cool.
my mouth tastes disgusting right now. it tastes like i've been drinking but i haven't. i think its might be the aftertaste of the grape's skins that i ate a while ago
i tried drawing a bunch of crystals in chem today and it was way harder than i thought. no matter how many times i tried it just looked stupid. i also tried to draw one of my staple doodles (the cannon for those of you who've seen it) but it also turned out shitty. i was disappointed but i did deter me from further doodling which i guess is good. except the rest of the class was just looking at slides of the teacher climbing or hiking accross tundra. some losers were still taking notes.
some dude was eating chips loudly today in math class. he even left in the middle of class to get them. he also moved his desk so that he was directly between me and the board. jerk.
my mom was ragging on me for not getting an entrance scholarship. she seems to think that they give everybody who applies $10 000 and that if only i'd handed in an application i'd get to go to university for free. she also expects me to go in at 8:30 with her and then use the 4 hours to read and study every day. hasn't she been paying attention for the last 6 years?
i thought about going to see mrs simpson today but i didn't cause i was already going to be late for chem and also cause i hadn't evenb had a class where we were learning something yet. i figured that i'd wait a day or two until i actually had something to tell her.
i've been listening to this song that limewire has told me is called crystal by new order. i don't trust limewire to get the name right. especially with this type of song. its probably been played over 40 times today alone. and the night is still young.
we're like crystal we break easy. i'm a poor man. if you leave me i'm then forgotten it was summer now its autumn. i don't know what to say you don't care anyway. i'm a man in a rage. without good i betray. here comes love its like honey you can't buy it with money. you're not alone anymore you shock me to the core. we're like crystal. its not easy with your love. you can't beat me. every man and every woman needs someone. so keep it comin keep it comin.... what amazing lyrics. no wonder i like it so much.
my room is rapidly filling with moths and stuff which gross me out. it they fly near my face i totally spaz. lately i've been flinching all over the place. i don't know what its about. i used to be really good at not flinching although that never applied to bugs like the ones making me spaz out now. but i guess those times of non-linching are dead and gone now. cest la vie
i remember when i used to be able to strin primitive sentences together in french about what i was doing or what i was going to do or what i had done. i've totally lost that ability now. it seems like a mighty waste to have done 6-12 years and still have the same command over the language than i did in the first year. thats a bit of an exageration but thats what it feels like.
i played my 64 for a while today. for some reason its all covered in this brown sticky shit. i don't know what thats all about. i think my brother took it to one of his friends houses and one of them puked on it. thats what it looks like. i didn't bother to clean it and i probably never will.
i just deleted a sentece. now you'll never know what it said. it'll probably haunt yuo to the grave. well mabey not but thats only cause you're not me.
i'm getting tired of my memory lately. all i do is remember specfic instances where i did or said something stupid and i get embarrassed here in the present and then spend the next 10 minutes thinking about what i should have done. the annoying thing is that i have no control over whether or not i do it. i still wouldn't wipe the memory banks clean to stop this so i guess its not that bad.
i finally have access to all the drawers in my dresser. two of them used to be covered by my desk so i filled them with old school paper and garbage like that. now that i can use them though i don't feel like emptying them out and sorting through all my papers to see which ones are wroth keeping. i would just light the whole stack on fire but then i would have to kill myself when i realized all the stuff that i burned was actually stuff i wante to keep.
i figured out today how to do alt F4. it closes any window. even ones like winamp. its true i checked. i was trying to figure out the key command for maximizing and minimizing windows.
its pretty fun to type maximize but its way more fun to type minimize and even more un to type minimum. it might not be fun if you're a dork (definition of a dork is somebody who uses home row). minimum. awesome.
i bought a peach iced tea at the student union building today and the guy who was working the till looked like the dude from the notebook. he looked like the dude when he had a beard if you were wondering.
today i was biting my arm today and then i guess some saliva dripped onto my teeth cause i felt wetness but i hadn't broken the skin. it totally felt like blood at first though. it was a big surprise.
i alsmot saw some guy get hit after swerving his bike out suddenly way before the crosswalk on quadra. he laughed and told me he thought that was a good one. i didn't really know what he was talking about but i agreed. really i was thinking that i wish he'd been hit so i could have seen it. i've never seen an accident actually happeneing only the after effects and never the people just the cars.
the other day i tried lifting my tv and hurt my back. the next day i tried to using some pieces of wood to give a mechanical advantage. i treated the tv like a lever then wedged a block of wood under the side i'd levered up and then did the same thing with the other side. then i slid the tv onto my wooden ladder laying flat on the floor. then i tried to lift the ladder up onto my desk and slide the tv up it and onto the desk. it would have worked have the ladder been shorter or had i had more floor space. as things were i decided to abandon the project since i almost had the tv slip off like 4 times already. i could have done it if i had to though.
i wasted a whole bunch of cheese the other day. i was going to have some on my toast but for some reason i failed to cut any of th pieces less than a cm thick so i was basically just eating mouthfulls of cheese. it was totally gross so i threw out the second piece's cheese.
i was supposed to fed my neighboors cats this morning but i forgot. i felt bad for a second but then i realized that it totally didn't matter and on top of that nobody would ever know anyways.
there was some girl or woman on the bus who kept looking at me. i don't know what her deal was. after a while i started glaring at her reflection. i couldn't tell if she noticed or not cause i couldn't see the reflection's eyes but i glared as hard as i could none the less. i hope she noticed.
i was the only person who got off at my stop today. i was surprised since usually like a minimum of 3 people get off. i kepy looking into the bus to see if anybody else was getting off and the people sitting gave me funny looks back.
i need to change the sheets on my bed. my idiot brother somehow got what looks like zuccini in them. i don't know how he would have done that though since we didn't have any food with zuccini in it in our house.
my window is open and i keep thinking its raining but every time i listen harder its only the wind. its a disappointment every time. i want it to rain. hard.
i drop kicked a ping pong ball sized rock today on the way home and it flew ina really nice arch. i was proud of myself.
the phone keeps ringning but my stupid mom never answers it. i don't know why it matters to me since i could probably count the number of phone calls for me in the past decade on my fingers and toes. even though i know theres no chance that i'll be glad i picked up the reciever i'll pick up it ten time out of ten. right now i'm trying to force my mom to pick up the phone by refusing to answer it but she doesn't care. right now its infuriating.
my brother told me that my wrists are disgustingly skinny and that i've got a fat stomache area. i couldn't deny it. i remember when i used to try and do sit ups on a regular basis. looking back i wish i'd kept it up.
today i talked to my dad for the first time in like 2 weeks mabey. its possible that i talked to him a few days ago though. i don't even remember.
lately i've started biting my thumb. its a weird habit. well its not really that weird but that i just pulled it out of nowhere is weird. i can't remember seeing anybody else do it. straaange things are happenin' to me. aint no doubt about it.
i want to tip my tv thats too heavy for me to lift onto my chest to see what happens. would i be able to lift it easily with my adreneline super powers? would it break my ribs? what would it feel like if it broke my ribs. i want to know what it feels like to have fluid in your lungs.
i was watching a movie a while ago in which a guy lit a rose on fire. i know thats a cheesy steriotypeed image but it looked rad. whoever thought of it first was a genious. i wasnt to do it. someone who does photography stuff light a rose on fire and take a picture of it. take some in black and white too cause black andwhite is the best thing ever.
is it possible to take a picture and make it black and white? it seems like that should be easy for a computer to do. i'd probably need photoshop to do something like that and if thats the case then its probably not worth it.
i can tell that i'm hungry but i dont feel like eating. i wonder how long i could go without foor for. i really want to try it. i wonder if i could outlast ghandi. i challenege anybody to a no-food-eating competition. anybody. i also challenege anybody to any competition involving eating quantities of gross food.
i have enough dishes in my room to host like 3 guests for dinner. i washed some clothes today at like 10:30 but i forgot to dry them. i wonder if they smell by now.
i wore a faculty of engineering shirt today even though i'm not in that faculty. i wonder if thats allowed.
that was long. sorry for everybody who has to have this ugly moster on their friends page. also sorry for anybody who read all of this
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Monday, August 29th, 2005
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i saw the original amityville horror last night. it was brutally crappy. i can't believe somebody made a remake of that movie. pretty much everything in the whole movie could have been omitted. for instance one time this nun comes to visit the house (she might be the mother's aunt) but she gets inside, feels the evil presence, gets faint and then has to leave (i should point out that its already been clearly established that the house is evil after a pastor came in and got suffocated, covered in flies, and was told to leave by the house a few scenes earlier). the mom tries to get the nun to stay but the she still says she has to leave and refuses to tell the mom the house is haunted for some reason. later in the movie the nun talks to the mom once more at a wedding but only long enough to mention that her scene happened ("i'm sorry i had to leave your house like that.. i threw up shortly after leaving") and then she's never seen or mentioned again.. another time the two sons are dangling a rubber spider on their sister from a 2nd or 3rd story window and then the window slams down onto one of the son's hands and it bleeds alot. then later after the fact the husband is like "its weird how the hospital said he didn't break any bones..." and thats it. he mentions that its weird that the son didn't get any broken bones and makes it sound like something to do with the house being haunted but it never comes up again.. the end of the movie is the perfect example of how stupid and pointless all the parts of the movie are. the mom went to the newspaper archives and saw that the photo of the guy who killed everyone in the house a few years ago and he looked exactly like her husband (and mabey had the same name except spelled slightly different). she runs home and upstairs to get her kids and along the way sees the dad coming out of the boathouse with his axe. the dad comes in the house yelling "amy where are you" over and over (cause none of the other kids actually have names), walks up the stairs to the room where the kids are hiding and starts axing the door. the mom then runs at him from behind (even though she was in the house first) and grabs his shoulders but is wrestled to the ground. the dad raises the axe for the killing blow and it cuts to a shot of the mom's screaming face, except she looks like an old witch/hag, then the husband puts down the axe and says "i could never hurt you". they take the kids and walk down the stairs to the door which is stuck but then they open it and drive away in their van. one of the kids says they want their dog back so the dad goes back to get the dog who is in the basement just chillin out near the entrance to hell (which by way the family found earlier in the movie and yet they did not movie out of the house) which had just finished smashing the boards that had been covering it up (presumably allowing hell to use all its powers in the house now). so the dad starts walking down the steps to the basement but they break and he falls in this big pit filled with blood/oil (its pitch black whatever it is) but then he just climbs out picks the dog up and leaves the basement. the door is stuck again but he just breaks a window and walks to the van and drives away at which point some white text says the family left their stuff in the house and moved to another state.. the end. so so lame. this house has the entrance to hell in its basement and the power to make a preacher go blind in his own church but all it can do to the dad (who is actually in the basement!) is get him covered in oil. what the crap? the one cool part was when this pastor dude was leading this super intense prayer in his church to bless the family living in the evil house he was having like this supernatural duel with the house. he was praying but then the house started cracking the face of this statue in the church so he started praying harder and yelling but the house just kept cracking the statue's face. eventually the house broke the statue's face right off and it looked like it fell on the pastor's head cause he looked up and screamed and covered his face just as it fell but it didn't hit him and instead he went blind..? other ridiculous parts include the house having these two windows side by side on the third floor that would make a semi-circle if they were touching and they look like really stupid eyes that glow when the house is being evil. at one point possibly when the dad is axing the door a lightning bolt strikes one of the eye windows and it explodes but then a few seconds later its back together again. theres a suspicious detective who shows up once or twice for about a minute each time, asks about the now blind pastor for around 20 seconds, and after failing to get a satisfactory answer doesn't pursue the matter any further and just disappears having had absolutely no effect on anything. in one part the evil house steals $1500 dollars from the family which is just funny. and finally in another part when the house is exerting its evil powers it blows its own front door off the hinges for no reason.
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Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
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i find this hard to believe myself but i have seen a total of 5 movies in theaters this month and i'm pretty sure i didn't talk about any of them in my livejournal. i never would have thought it was possible. if somebody said to me "hey do you think that if you saw five movies in theaters in one month you would be able to resist talking about any or all of them in your livejournal for even one day?" i would have said "no".. but here we are! amazing!!
so first i saw the island. i went in thinking it would be stupid but came out thinking it had entertained me even though many parts were stupid.. specifically the part where main dude and main dudette have a fight in the virtual gladiator arena. why? also stupid were the hoverbikes (possibly called "hornets". cool/original name writer!) and the fact that main dude learned to drive one just by climbing on and trying things out. i understand that he had stunt racing in his genes or something but still i think this rocket powered hovering motorcycle thing would be a little too complicated to just pick up on the fly (pun intended cause i rule). especially since he's flying at like a bzillion miles per hour in traffic and around buildings and high-tech monorail systems.. while being chased by another one of these things being driven by an experienced mercenary pilot who has an experienced mercenary gunner on the back shooting at our heroes with an experienced mercenary gun! the movie wasn't all lame though... um.. anyways there was this one scene where main dude watched this woman have a baby but after the baby is delivered they tell the mom she can hold it in a second while strapping her down with restraints. then the one of the nurses is holding the baby and looks at the mom for like 5 seconds before walking away while a doctor is injecting an entire syringe full (like chock-a-block full) of kill juice into the woman's iv tube. then she goes into violent death throes and dies. i'm sure there exist lots of doctors who wouldn't have a problem with delivering a baby then killing the mom in cold blood while having her watch the nurse take her baby away. finally when are people going to learn that sean bean is a betrayer. didn't you know? he's a lienz cossack. he'll betray you!
next came 4 brothers (i'm planning on doing all 5 movies. lucky you!). this movie was also lame but more entertaining than lame.. or mabey it was 50/50. it probably would have been more lame than entertaining had there not been the rad deaths. at one point theres a car chase and the brothers flip the bad guys car then run up to the car drag the guys out kick them a few times in the chest and face (without asking any questions) and then shoot and kill them with a single bullet each. the second wicked death was when the least criminal brother is about to run out of his house in the middle of a gunfight and a guy runs in the side door. the brother grabs a kitchen knife then grabs the badguy around the neck from behind and then stabs him in the chest three times with the knife. the last and coolest death (apparently only in my opinion) is when a corrupt cop is tricked into thinking the regular police know he's dirty and are trying to take him down. the bad cop runs out of his house with one of the brothers as a hostage and shoots at the good cops who are like "why is he doing this?" cause they also got tricked. so to disarm the bad cop the police sharpshooter with his gun's bipod firmly planted on the hood of a police cruiser shoots him right in the heart. like right through the centre of his shirt pocket. it was wicked. seriously the only thing cooler than a heart shot is a face shot.
then i saw war of the worlds. tom cruise was an awesome dad at the start. the scene when he had to let go of his son was friggin stupid. it made absolutely no sense. "i have to see this"? it doesn't make any sense at all. he's like a 15 year old kid who is on the run from giant aliens who just walk around friggin exploding people with lasers and has been attacked by a mob of crazed murderous people who beat him up and he decides that he needs to see a battle between humans and aliens so bad that he has to leave the safe keeping of his dad who is clearly doing a fantastic job of keeping him and his sister alive and safe and wander into a war zone. he doesn't even attempt to participate he just "has to see this". what was even worse is that after the hill top gets totally incinerated and he clearly dies along with everyone who was there he just appears at the end of the movie in his mom's house (which was somehow completely untouched even though its in a major city). also lame but wicked at the same time was the part where tom cruise walks into a room to kill this crazy guy he's staying with cause the crazy guy is making too much noise and the aliens will hear him. tom cruise tells his daughter to close her eyes cover her ears and sing herself her favourite lullaby while he walks into the room to the kill the dude with his bare hands. totally awesome. the guy has a shovel and is probably like 7-8 inches taller and 75-100 pounds heavier than tom and has previously overpowered tom in a different scene yet still tom emerges from the room victorious. totally stupid. the absolute stupidest thing about the movie was the ending though. turns out "god in his infinite wisdom" put bacteria onto the earth to protect us from interplanetary invasion. so, much like when one goes to mexico or fiji and eats the food or drinks the water and becomes violently ill, when the aliens eat the food and drink the water on earth they die within a few days (and also shut down their force fields around their machines for absolutely no reason just prior to their death allowing the army to shoot one with rockets until it dies. why did they even bother doing that part?). i guess the aliens didn't even think about re-checking the conditions of the planet before mounting their full-scale invasion which they've been planning out since before bacteria even inhabited the earth. oops.
then i saw batman begins. i seriously thought it was only a preview for another movie for the first 5 minutes of this one cause it started so abruptly. it was cool how batman was shown as actually being scary like he would be to criminals when he first arrived on the scene. also the tumbler (his first and clearly coolest batmobile) was totally sweet. it was also cool when he sprayed scarecrow with his being afraid gas except for some reason the same extra strength gas that would kill the girl won't kill him. go figure. the last cool thing was that batman's evil shadow league ninja teacher was simon's stepdad in love actually. a stupid thing was that they decided to ignore the fact they said the joker killed batman's parents in the first batman movie and had some random hobo kill his parents in this one. another stupid thing is the round-about way the bad guys are trying to destroy the city given the fact that the other things they've done in the past are totally direct. the very stupidest thing ties in with that last stupid thing i mentioned.. the badguys are a group of justice/balance conscientious ninjas known as the shadow league. it turns out that they were the ones responsible for sacking rome, introducing the plague into europe and starting the big fire in london that we read about in pepys's diary (and yet when they want to kill gotham city they go to all the trouble of putting a chemical that makes you really afraid (so afraid that you'll kill everyone around you) into the water, and then evaporating all the water since one has to inhale the chemical. why not just put deadly poison into the water system?) and on top of all that they imply that they were behind the murder of batman's parents. lame.
lastly i saw charlie and the chocolate factory a few days ago. i thought that at times willy wonka was just too weird. i mean lots of the time his weirdness was cool but there were also many times when it crossed the line. the oompa loompas were like 3 times as awesome in this movie and i thought they were totally rad in the last movie. their songs were totally wicked. there were also lots of funny jokes tossed in like the puppet hospital and burn centre. i didn't like how they took out the part where charlie and the grandpa broke the rules but won back willy's trust and the inheritance of the factory. that part was key. in this one all charlie did was not touch stuff to win the factory and its not the same. the beginning part of the movie rocked my face though. mabey its due to my delicate emotional state right now but charlie being such a good kid and his family being so poor and him loving willy wonka and his chocolate so much and only getting one bar per year on his birthday and wanting that ticket so bad almost made me cry. like i was really close. i bet if i'd closed my eyes as tight as i could a tear would have fallen. and that can't be said of very many times in my life.
wow that was long and tiring but still entertaining for me. and at the end of the day when all is said and done isn't that whats really important (in this instance)? i submit that the answer is yes. i wonder if anyone actually read this in its entirety in one sitting. i submit that the answer is not likely
P.S. spell chacking is going to be a bitch
P.P.S. it toally was
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